That Floating Excrement Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Year.

Looking back, we consider the television offerings of the recent year, a handful of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable failures. From awkward sequels to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that had us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this love/hate follow-up? Burdened with woeful writing, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the final series began, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner declared this would be the final series. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too symbolic. Still, viewers certainly had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the smallest of this drama's problems. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star review, it was difficult to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The laughably wooden writing? The mind-numbing veneration of wealth and consumption? The seemingly deliberate parade of tropes? Acting so bad they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the legal troubles, domestic violence allegations and fatherly shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charming but flippant egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Shady characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were plenty of other problems. Mainly that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively enraged commentators, it’s temptingly easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee lifestyle as deliberate statements. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark platitudes and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Instead, the experience was like consuming a marketing brochure. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to live up to something way beyond it.

Too Much

How do you follow a show that captured a generation? The expectation was immense for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of talented emerging comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a single joke milked to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be handled with care. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from strangely jaunty, slightly stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A total mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the star … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the online personality notorious for explicit exploits as she undertook her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific shots and absolutely no interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.